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  • Writer's pictureThe Bald Believer

The Melons Sermon (Warning, you might get offended)

The Melons Sermon

So, I was preaching on being fruitful in the Christian life from this text.

Philippians 1:11 Being filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are by Jesus Christ, unto the glory and praise of God.

The outline is fairly evident from the verse.

1. We are to be filled with fruits of righteousness.

I talk a little about the fruits of the Christian and how we are a unique tree in that we are to bear various kinds of spiritual fruits.

2. We are to do this by Jesus

We can’t do this on our own. Self effort doesn’t produce spiritual fruit. We have to abide in him through his Word and through prayer.

3. We are to do this unto the glory and praise of God not ourselves.

We don’t produce fruit so that people will brag on us but so they will brag on our Lord.

Then I said it...

We don’t bear fruit so that people will point and say, “look at the melons on that Christian”

My face turns red when I realize what has just escaped my mouth without first passing through my mind.

People start laughing. One poor lady had a baby on her shoulder and was laughing so hard the little head looked like it was about to bounce off of its little neck. My daughter is actually crying because she is laughing so hard.

Realizing that I was not going to recover, I quickly closed the service with an invitation and everyone is closing their eyes and bowing heads. Most in the meeting are laughing hard and making it very hard to take this important time seriously. One innocent older lady was under conviction and had no idea how what I said could be taken wrong. She came forward but as I attempted to pray with her I couldn’t hold back my laughter at my own stupidity. She looked at me painfully thinking I was mocking her pain. I didn’t know what to say!

So, the moral of this story is...

I don't know, ya'll figure it out!

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